Football

As the football season kicks off, fans everywhere fight for their right to (throw a) party. A ritual of the season, living rooms once used to house dinners and casual visits with friends are turned into the best seats outside of the stadium.

Though everyone knows that there are essentials to a good football party – chips, dip, drinks – a few other tweaks can take your party to the next level. Consider, for instance, the following:

Have two rooms: In one of the biggest rivalries since the Packers and Bears, football season brings out competition between the Watchers and the Talkers. The Watchers are football zealots, those who demand complete silence on fourth and one. They are avid fans, cheering loudly at a win, and sobbing openly at a loss. They have little patience for bad officiating, channel changing, or speaking during the game. This brings up to the Talkers.

The Talkers like football, but they don’t love it: to them, it’s more of an excuse to be social and less of an excuse to get an ulcer when their team fumbles. Though they watch the game a little, they spend most of their time discussing non-football topics: gossip, television, the latest book they are reading. They have little patience for yelling at the television, being grouchy when an opponent scores, or being shushed.

Since these two groups have different opinions about football viewing, it’s best they watch the game in two different rooms: one room for those wearing “Football is Life” t-shirts, and one room for those sporting “What else is on?” tattoos.

Get Coolers: When it comes to watching football, a refrigerator is so over rated (no offense, May Tag Man). Not only does keeping everything in a refrigerator make you run out of room, but it forces you to get up – potentially missing a play – whenever you’re out of beer. Instead of putting everything in a refrigerator, fill your living room with a large cooler or two. Don’t go to the refreshments, make them come to you.

So that the refrigerator doesn’t feel left out, use it to store foods that might spoil: a veggie tray, deli meats, blue cheese dressing for your chicken wings. But, keep the beverages, and things you will consume throughout the game, somewhere near and dear to your television.

Have a Computer Set up: In this day and age, people aren’t just into football, they are into Fantasy Football: watching your home team lose is sad, but losing a fantasy game is downright heartbreaking. Those who play Fantasy Football usually make it a habit to check their scores periodically, or constantly, on Sundays. Sometimes they can get a ballpark figure of how many points they have by seeing the stats of their players flash across the screen, but the only way to get a certain score is through the world wide web.

Even for those who don’t play Fantasy Football, a computer gives people the opportunity to check scores of other NFL games, checks the play of their favorite quarterback, or send an email from Denver to someone in Cleveland that discusses “The Drive.”

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